American Association of Patriots, How to Talk to Your Cat about Evolution; How to Talk to Your Cat about Gun Safety

(2015-03-28 001)Title: How to Talk to Your Cat about Evolution

Author: The American Association of Patriots

Publication Information: Slaton, TX: The American Association of Patriots, c2014

Library of Congress Classification: PN6231.C23

Library of Congress Subject Headings:
Cats—Humor
Evolution—Humor
Creationism–Humor

(2015-03-28 002)Title: How to Talk to Your Cat about Gun Control

Author: The American Association of Patriots

Publication Information: Slaton, TX: The American Association of Patriots, c2013

Library of Congress Classification: PN6231.C23

Library of Congress Subject Headings:
Cats—Humor
Firearms—Humor

Two very important topics, evolution and gun safety, are addressed by the pamphlets from the American Association of Patriots. They are aimed to safeguard an important member of the family: the cat.

Evolution vs. creationism is how the argument has been cast for over a century. I remember discussing this in a grade school class. (Yes, I am old.) The debate raged until one student raised her hand and asked, “Why can’t it have happened both ways?” In other words, evolution happened as God directed creation. This stumped the class. Later, upon reflection, I decided this made perfect sense, which is why the current debate is a non-issue.

This might be the best way to approach the issue with your cat. I think most cats would agree. Cats have many things on their minds, like where to sun themselves today, and cannot become bogged-down in science and theological discussions.

One suggestion is for the owner to open several Bibles to different books. The cat will, of course, lay on them, thus having the opportunity to absorb the holy wisdom. I have tried this with textbooks, putting them under my pillow before going to bed, but with no success; I always did poorly on tests. However, those textbooks were not the Word of God.

Gun safety is a completely different issue. Cats cannot absorb anything from lying on guns. You need to actively get your cat involved in learning how to handle and store guns safely. Without such training accidents, perhaps fatal ones, will happen.

Once a cat is taught how to handle a gun and the responsibilities that come with it, you will immediately reap the benefits. A cat packin’ heat while you are away becomes a formidable adversary for any miscreant who wanders onto your property.

Frankly, these pamphlets can be adapted to teach dogs about gun ownership. Dogs are (supposedly) as smart as cats. A dog’s soul is just as valuable (depending on who you talk to) as a cat’s, and once inoculated against the one-sided evolution argument, the dog can then move onto learning about guns. Canine use of firearms can be just as lethal as feline use. Perhaps even more so.

Think about the safe walks you will have with your dog.  With your dog carrying a gun, no one will think to harass either of you. However, it is essential to get your dog to understand that postal workers are good, else you may come home and find a corpse on your doorstep. Also, kitty needs to understand that blowing away birds and small animals is not a responsible way to use a gun.

All in all, very valuable pamphlets on how to educate and teach your cat about these important issues. Highly recommended.

 

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